More inadvisable premises for low-level Dungeons & Dragons adventures:
The party has been hired by a local inkeeper to clear a infestation of
giant rats out of their basement. Upon investigation, however, the rats demand parley, and produce documents which – they allege – establish that they themselves are the legal owners of the inn. As far as any player character in possession of appropriate skills is able to determine, the documents are genuine.
A group of townsfolk ask the party to liberate them from their terrible
wizard-king. When confronted in his private sanctum, the
“wizard” breaks down and confesses that he’s a failed apprentice who’s
been running a Wizard of Oz scam with the aid of a few minor
cantrips. He begs the party not to expose him, claiming that the
countryside is home to a band of vicious marauders who’ve only refrained from ravaging the town because they believe he’s the real deal.
The party receives the opportunity to enter themselves into a region-wide martial tournament whose returning champion has promised to bestow her magnificent enchanted blade on anyone who can best her in single combat. The usual tournament shenanigans are afoot, of course, but the true intrigue is that the champion is really just a luckless merchant who’s been possessed by the malicious intelligence of her sword – and it’s looking to trade up to a better host!
A village is afflicted by an apparent curse that’s transforming plants, animals, and eventually people into grotesque monsters. The victims typically aren’t dangerous or hostile – just terribly confused. It’s eventually discovered that a local hedge witch has been improperly disposing of failed personal enhancement potions, and the resulting trasmutative effluvium has tainted the village well.
An evil sorcerer has crafted an army of unstoppable behemoths of iron and bone to rampage through the countryside spreading terror and devastation as a prelude to eventual conquest. However, the sorcerer in question is a member of a very, very small race, so the behemoths in question are only about three feet tall.
I’m a huge podcast fan, and I listen to a lot of Dungeon and Dragons/roll playing game podcasts. What I feel is missing is women playing D&D. Especially women DMs. I think the world is missing out on hearing how fun women playing D&D must be. And how different it must be. I for one would be thankful to find it and hear it. I hope I get to hear a women led rpg podcast someday. Thank you.
Girls Guts Glory comes to mind as well as Shieldmaidens.
Both are an all-female D&D game groups that do youtube videos/streams/podcasts
It’s called Dungeons, Dice, and Everything Nice. They just finished their first season/arc and already starting the next. They are a super cool and you should give them a chance.
I love this post so so much and we are so honored to be included among these names. Also, I’ve gotten some people being like ‘lol don’t u know there’s already an all female d&d podcast?’
There should be TONS. We are not competition. We are a cult and we WILL CAST SPELLS ON YOU. I will stand by my other lady dnd pods until DEATH.
thx,
km
There should be TONS. We are not competition. We are a cult and we WILL CAST SPELLS ON YOU.
This may be the greatest writing on D&D of our lifetimes. I know it looks like a lot, but please read it, you will be so happy and you will either begin to understand D&D or else recognize this rightness in your SOUL.
Those that derail the adventure by saying “I’m gonna kill it”
Those that derail the adventure by saying “I’m gonna steal it”
Those that derail the adventure by saying “I’m gonna fuck it”
Kill:
Paladin – unflinchingly devoted to combating evil, or dangerously repressed? Either way, inclined to smite first, ask questions never, because they don’t approve of necromancy.
Ranger – if you’re lucky, the ranger has a tragic backstory that requires revenge. If you’re not, they’re straight up a trophy hunter.
Barbarian – tendency to get murdery when confused.
Steal:
Rogue – if it’s not nailed down, the rogue’s taking it home. If it is nailed down, they’re also taking the nails.
Wizard – look, those spell books aren’t going to read themselves, unless they will, in which case the wizard really wants them.
Fighter – less impulsively stabby than the more niche stabby classes, but may be unlikely to resist the urge to acquire something fancy to stab with.
Fuck:
Bard – if you don’t roll to seduce the big bad, are you even really playing a bard?
Sorcerer – it runs in the family, probably.
Druid – this is not the intended use of wildshape and no one wants this but there goes the druid anyway.
Wildcards:
Cleric – depends pretty heavily on what sort of god they follow, but you’ll probably know how they’ll ruin everything by the time they do so.
Warlock – honestly, who knows, it’s likely even they’re not sure which category they’re going to fall into until their patron’s orders come in.
I’ve always felt that the star pact/Great Old One patron warlocks were kind of the odd ones out. Like, how does that conversation go down?
“I signed a contract with a demon lord!”
“I sold my name to an elf queen!”
“I use forbidden math to parasitically tap into the power of a vast alien god-monster that’s unaware of my existence and would destroy our world in an instant if I ever manage to get its attention!”
“… right, we’re going to go stand way over here now.”
Hey all! Trying to make a bunch of D&D stuff for my summer cons–something I’m calling the Summer of D&D [so creative eh?]–and I’m starting it off with some class related buttons, so here’s pt.1 of the collection!
Organized Chaos 