Freelancing in technical theater means you’re on a lot of different email lists. People need a crew, they send out an email, you respond with your availability. Now, most people start these with things like “hey folks” or “hi everyone”. Neal is not most people.
His openers started off innocent enough.
Then, he started to push boundaries.
And as you can see, it has spiraled out of control since then.
Tag yourselves. I’m the anteater in a suit who thinks he can pass.
people talk about women being ‘emotional’ and ‘overreacting,’ but you don’t see a woman making an arch-nemesis out of an albino whale and obsessively chasing it down like a lunatic for 585 pages
Look, the reason Stan Lee is never going to do anything more than one-liner cameos is simple: he’s at that age where any random mishap is potentially fatal, and do you think any MCU production really wants to go down in history as the movie that killed Stan Lee?
This may be the greatest writing on D&D of our lifetimes. I know it looks like a lot, but please read it, you will be so happy and you will either begin to understand D&D or else recognize this rightness in your SOUL.
Those that derail the adventure by saying “I’m gonna kill it”
Those that derail the adventure by saying “I’m gonna steal it”
Those that derail the adventure by saying “I’m gonna fuck it”
Kill:
Paladin – unflinchingly devoted to combating evil, or dangerously repressed? Either way, inclined to smite first, ask questions never, because they don’t approve of necromancy.
Ranger – if you’re lucky, the ranger has a tragic backstory that requires revenge. If you’re not, they’re straight up a trophy hunter.
Barbarian – tendency to get murdery when confused.
Steal:
Rogue – if it’s not nailed down, the rogue’s taking it home. If it is nailed down, they’re also taking the nails.
Wizard – look, those spell books aren’t going to read themselves, unless they will, in which case the wizard really wants them.
Fighter – less impulsively stabby than the more niche stabby classes, but may be unlikely to resist the urge to acquire something fancy to stab with.
Fuck:
Bard – if you don’t roll to seduce the big bad, are you even really playing a bard?
Sorcerer – it runs in the family, probably.
Druid – this is not the intended use of wildshape and no one wants this but there goes the druid anyway.
Wildcards:
Cleric – depends pretty heavily on what sort of god they follow, but you’ll probably know how they’ll ruin everything by the time they do so.
Warlock – honestly, who knows, it’s likely even they’re not sure which category they’re going to fall into until their patron’s orders come in.
Organized Chaos 